A letter from Ms. Wixom.... and the reply

From time to time I will find myself in the present with something that just cannot wait. Not that i start reading a book by scanning the last chapter first.ya know just in case, but more so because this blog will certianly take some time to get here and as bad as my memory is now, well you know. Anywho Ms. Wixom is my daughter emmy's teacher now. She started the year elsewhere but the school decided to move elevated 4th graders into a split class and we were approached by the principal to see if we would agree to move her. This was really no surprise because Katie did the same thing when her age. I blame the mail man but hey they do have a smart mother too. Ms. Wixom sent home a letter covering her teaching path and I only made it to the end of the first paragraph before this decision was not looking so good. The end said " I plan to teach (bla bla bla) and that all creatures deserve our respect no matter how small. Enough said. I immediately set out to correct the wrong points of this letter/paragraph. Dear Ms. Wixom, I completely agree with your assesment of treating all creature no matter how small equal. I furthermore deem it cruel punishment to alter their natural biological state as we so often see done. I am really looking forward to meeting you on Tuesday and have a few shall we say surprises I think you will like. I intend to bring Homer the pet Skunk we keep here at home to meet with you. He has been altered in no way and although a bit ripe at times I am sure you will hit it off well with him so long as you are not wearing perfume.Seems to upset him. We will be accompanied by Walter and Stacia as well. They are my pet rattle snakes and although I have been bit several times I don't think it has really hurt me any. Just a few razor cuts and a bit of blood sucking and I am sure you will be fine. To cap it off I am bringing you a class room pet. I recently trapped a problem Beaver from a friends pond and although not quite as tame as the others I am sure you can handle him/her with little difficulty. I have not named him/her as of yet because every time i try to check it slaps me with it's tail and takes a bite out of me. Really I hate to say this but the beaver is taking a toll on my nerves and I am not doing well with respecting it. I hope you appreciate the trouble I have gone through just to get it there and will be kind to the beaver and let it out once daily. I guess I maybe should have asked but you don't have a wooden leg do you? Well I will just risk the gift and we will see how you get along. Thank you,. I was at the open house all night Tuesday but never meet Emmy's teacher. Seems she wasn't feeling well. Anyone in need of a problem Beaver?